Wednesday, August 3, 2016

the part where my neighbors call me a n!gger again

it's a peaceful afternoon and I am quietly working . the windows are open but the blinds are closed. no one can see in.i hear a mexican teenage girl scream out "f*ck you n!gger" near the back of my head.the window starts a foot above me ,i know she cannot see me .

being the only black person living in this neighborhood ,i know this is probably directed towards me.it isn't the first time i've heard her say it and I wonder if she does this every time she passes. my mexican neighbors love to call me that from the safety of being outside my windows. they are so bold out there but would never have the guts to say something to my face.i walk past and they stare, mute, gossiping later.

i am tired of all the unnecessary hostility but it will only end once i cease to be black.i guess they think that I am better than them, which is true.i am superior but that has nothing to do with race, only character. they seethe when they see my nice clothes and the millionaires who pick me up for dates. they look at their babydaddy jesus who can't afford a cell phone, their grandmother who digs through the trash for dinner, or their 1 bedroom apartment filled with 7 unemployed people and 2 filthy dogs. they wonder why the n!gger doesn't have to struggle like they do, tv says they are better than n!ggers so where is the proof?

i feel pity for the children who will grow up hateful and ignorant like this girl.hating me instead of hating the system or her parents for not wanting to work or instilling pride inside her. hating black people instead of hating her real enemy.she will grow up to be cannon fodder just like her parents and their parents, having babies she can't afford while living in a country she cannot afford . they will multiply like roaches and not have much more sense.

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