always the n!gger

I woke up pretty late & was having a bad day. not enough time to eat so I went straight to a modeling audition(I think I got the job but who knows).I decide to celebrate by going to fallas paredes & "making it rain". mind you, i have enough clothes to last me for 2 lifetimes but I was in the area.

I go in & I hear the security guard say "hey, you need to take care of her"(talking about me).I keep walking.my $200 purse is clear plastic & I have yet to have the need to steal $5 dresses.i buy some stuff & my purse is on 1 shoulder, my bag in the other hand. i am in the middle of the street when the Mexican security guard rips the bag out of my hand. i turn around & say "do not touch me", grab my shredded bag, & keep walking. a normal person would have gone to the manager then but we all know i'm not normal :-)

I hear him yell out now "you're a n!gger!".I stop in the middle of the street. "what did you call me?".now he backs down,he sees that I am not the one.i ask "what is your name?". he says Julio but who knows if that is even true. the entire time 2 black men who were a foot taller than him are standing inches away. they pretend not to notice as they walk out after me. i don't know why I was surprised at their cowardice, i should be used to that by now.

I went & told the manager & she said they would "talk to him".lol.sure.

here's the deal.i realize that most people who see me don't think "hey that's a cool girl" or "hey that's Dallas" or even "hey that's that betch from rock of love". all they see is a n!gger & i'm fine with that.it does not bother me as long as you don't say it loud enough for me to hear it. i live my life with dignity, i don't hassle people, i don't cheat, i don't steal, i don't lie.it does not matter because I will always be a n!gger.

it's almost 9pm & I still have not had breakfast so i'll end my rant here :-)