Thursday, January 27, 2022

martha inc & martha behind bars movie review

 i never saw martha inc at the time it came out. i was pretty busy those years (& found martha stewart to be boring) so it wasnt a priority. i LOVE cybill shepards blank shark eyes & flat accent(does martha really sound like that? i will never know).i wouldnt mind if cybill made a new martha movie every couple of years. i get that tptb were trying to make martha into some kind of villain but all im seeing is an ambitious bad betch. martha behind bars isnt as good as the 1st, its basically a rehash of her trial & her 5 months of prison. like "orange is the new black" she was also in jail with a nun. i cant with martha smuggling in spices & making "illegal" desserts. i think they shouldve spent less time on the trial & more time with her in prison.

Sunday, January 2, 2022

A Very English Scandal

 so i see the 2nd installment "A Very British Scandal" has come out. i am sick & my doctor said i cannot go out tonight so i will be reviewing this show (YOU ARE WELCOME!, lol). i was so excited to see the first "A Very English Scandal" until i found out ben whishaw was in it. he is so incredibly unattractive to me, its hard to look at his face. i get irl both of these dudes were fug but if you are going to risk it all (in a tv show/movie), the younger guy had better be a hottie (another reason why i love "wilde").

not hugh grant showing up to his bedroom with lube to wear that bussy out & ben crying. i cannot! i hope that didnt happen in reality. i guess this is supposed to be romantic but norman josiffe/ben was homeless & just got out of a psychiatric hospital. taking advantage of the mentally ill isnt sweet or sexy. i dont like this tone.....


not jeremy thorpe/hugh cheating on him with actual non ugly guys. the bloom wore off the bussy & now hugh has moved on. "you have infected me with the virus of homosexuality!" jesus. i dont know if i can watch 3 hours of this. typical man that he would go through all that drama instead of just doing what he promised aka getting norman a national insurance card.

{not even through with the 1st episode & i take a 4 hour break}

i would rather watch a 3 hour show about boofy gore & his badgers.

{i finish the 1st hour then go to sleep}

ive watched A LOT of these vintage english scandal shows & these "scandals" arent very interesting (even when looked through older values/morals). ohhh she had sex with a lot of men, ohhh he was gay, ohhh she had sex with black guys! who gaf? although hugh grant is looking like a weathered snack, i am regretting ever starting to watch this. 

i really dont appreciate gay men(who know they are gay & are in the closet) who insist on getting married & having children with women. if the stuff in this show is true then these men really deserved whatever negativity that came from that. both of these men ruined so many womens lives. its insane.

i didnt think it was going to take me more than a night to finish this :-(

{after trying to watch it the entire day,i finally finish the 2nd hour then go to sleep}

all the interesting stuff  FINALLY starts happening in the 3rd hour. i cant recommend this, it needs to be edited down & the tone needs to be more serious. being queer shouldnt still be a punchline at this point


Sunday, December 26, 2021

Nightmare Alley 1947 vs 2021

1947
  tyrone power is so fine. there is no way bradley cooper can be sexy like this. tyrone has these women in a tizzy!  Nightmare Alley is boring & dumb & i dont understand why bruno would give away his "love". i am only still watching because tyrone power is so attractive. it gets a little better halfway through but so much of the cool creepy circus vibe was wasted. i'm mad the best part started in the last 30 minutes. Helen Walker ended up stealing this movie. its a shame her career went nowhere. the ending was trash, hopefully the remake will be better though i doubt it with fug bradley & boring rooney mara.

2021
cate blanchett has helen walkers role & that is the only thing i am excited about. bradley cooper looks like a ostrich & the thought of him seducing somebody makes my stomach queasy. 

not toni collette lying & saying bradley is "easy on the eyes". you can tell shes a good actress because she didnt even laugh after. im going to be REAL upset if there are any sex scenes in this movie,i just ate! 

this is just dragging along. they added a lot of sex & violence but this isnt a better movie than the original Nightmare Alley. the costumes arent even better. everybody goes on & on about how great guillermo del toro is but i have yet to see it.

Sunday, December 19, 2021

i still havent seen "rock of love"

 a clip popped up of me on instagram & i decided to watch it.


first thought: what am i wearing?

second thought: what am i doing?

third thought: why didnt i brush my hair?

fourth thought: why am i talking so fast?

funny thing is, i didnt remember doing any of that or saying any of that(though it was classic Dallas).i know i wasnt drunk or high so that was me being bored & trying to entertain myself like i usually do. i stopped acting YEARS ago but i will be in a new (big) movie next year. debating whether or not i want to share. filming wasnt traumatic but it wasnt a positive experience either. if you spot me in a 2022 movie, leave a comment, lol

i was going to post something really spectacular for the new year but decided against that. who cares + nothing matters. next year will be just as pointless as this one :-)


Saturday, September 18, 2021

Dune part 1 2021

i cant stand zendaya or teem-o-TAY so idk about watching this. technically dune 1984 is a bad movie but i still love it. its big boots to fill for such a small twink like timmay. its not believable that oscar issac would have a son as unattractive as timmay.

i'm confused how we have bagpipers in the future but not pizza. its not even 7pm & i almost fell asleep. the visuals are nice but timmay is boring. its too much "filler" & dreams. stop foreshadowing, damn near everybody who is watching this knows the plot! i havent read the books but i'm sure there is enough for 2 movies without all this bs.

The Eyes of Tammy Faye 2021

i love jessica but i hate religion so The Eyes of Tammy Faye might be painful. the fake jaw issa distracting mess & jessica chastain is the only one with an accent. i think the majority of churches are scams so i dont understand why they decided to only put jim bakker in prison......

all these sex scenes with tammy & jim(& tammy cheating) is REALLY grossing me out. who wants to think about tammy faye or jim bakker fvcking???? who asked for this? i didnt know tammy was thottin & boppin like this but i guess i shouldve known she was a hypocrite. i came here for high camp & fabulous outfits & all i got was puppets.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

asos marketplace is run by morons

 so i had a store in the asos marketplace YEARS ago.i ended up not posting any products & years later when i logged in, my store was gone, & they asked for me to apply again.

ok

fine

cool

i jump through the hoops, email them pictures i took, then they emailed me saying my application was rejected because i "stole someone elses pictures". i reply saying that was a lie & i get no reply back. 2 weeks later, i send an email to someone else & get this in return

"Hello,

 

We use reverse image searching to check the authenticity of the imagery provided. We do not allow imagery that is not owned or taken directly by the boutique or product creator to be on site.

 

After reviewing the imagery we found the imagery provided on multiple other websites

 

We will not be replying to any further emails regarding this matter, thank you"


what were those other websites i "stole" my photos from? my etsy & my other online stores(pretty sure i emailed them the link to my etsy in the 1st email so that makes this even more dumb). of course, they couldnt just read the profile in the store to know it was me(or even ask me like a human being). its bizarre to me how people who are SO STUPID are in charge of things


Saturday, August 14, 2021

Swan Song

udo kier & jennifer coolidge are so underrated. i have to keep stopping swan song because i dont want it to end. i'm mad he's just as ratchet as i hope i am when i get old. i would pay good money to watch a tv show starring udo strutting around in a leisure suit in ohio. i almost didnt watch it because i thought it would be sadder & i'm glad it wasnt.

Monday, July 5, 2021

i used to be on reality television

 

i used to be on reality tv & its just so weird when i think about it. i never tell people & i never talk about it. when i came to hollywood, i wanted to be a SERIOUS actress ala marilyn monroe & i went to acting classes & everything. i turned up my nose at even doing tv shows until my savings ran out :-).  its so funny to me how "rock of love" is considered vintage or classic & young girls are dressing like us(please dont lol). reality television is part of the problem & i'm sort of bummed that i added on to that. to clarify, not bummed at who i am but bummed how they chose to edit me & manipulate the situation.


Saturday, May 29, 2021

cruella

so i didnt rewatch the original 101 dalmations. from what i remember as a child,i hated it & thought it was boring/stupid & cruella was the best thing in it(same goes for the remake with glenn close. they shouldve made an all cruella movie starring her).

i LOVE emma stone so this had better be good. all the dogs are bad cgi & it looks so cheap :-(. i wish i had a 1 eyed dog named wink. i'm confused how 3 children were squatting in an abandoned building for a decade & nobody noticed. its cool how the store has a biba vibe to it. i'm SLIGHTLY disappointed most of the costumes arent historically accurate but it isnt bothering me as much as it should. 30 minutes in & this is pretty bland so........

emma thompson coming through with the bad betch african auntie headwrap & i'm here for it! i kind of feel like she may have been underrated due to being with kenneth branagh but that is a convo for a different time. its WEIRD this is supposed to be so progressive(OMG THEY CAST NEGROES!!??!!) but emma thompson is basically cosplaying african women. again, that is a convo for a different time. i have to finish this movie before the champagne kicks in. i see white people posting salty comments about how anita darling is a black woman with an afro. its sad how predictable & racist you people are for no reason..........

im confused why disney insists on making the villains the most interesting characters in their movies(cruella is the victim here). if you dont want me to root for the villain then dont make the lead boring/dumb.

it took me WAY TOO LONG to figure out who tf nandor was. 1 hour in & this isnt fun or funny. idc. idc if she was an orphan. idc about the baroness. idc about any of this. i have to admit the cruella "revenge" events gowns are fun but there is not enough of that.

seeing mark strong with hair is bizarre. did they cgi that as well????? im going to need some answers! lmfao.

every once & a while i think about the death of empress elisabeth & this movie doesnt help. i'm mad that wink the dog was literally the best part of this movie