Wuthering Heights 2026 movie review

the 1939 version of Wuthering Heights is one of my favorite movies & ive seen every english version with a white heathcliff so these are pretty big boots to fill.i dont think emerald fennell has the talent(or even the urge) to make this a great movie but we will see.

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I knew this was going to be a mess but im so confused how a female director got so much rope to hang herself with. like who hates emerald that much that they let her make this movie? it ended & i could not stop laughing. i assumed all the negative reviews i read were people exaggerating but really, it was a billion times worse.

"wuthering heights" is a movie made by people who have never read the book. the only similarities are the names, absolutely none of the characters are the same. margot robbie looks about 7 months pregnant & there is no nudity but A LOT of vagina stand ins. emerald goes out of her way to be vulgar yet makes sure NOT to show anything that is actually sexy.

they made edgar linton into an indian man but the only character who is actually non white is(of course) played by a white man. jacob elordi is gorgeous but i have yet to see some talent. ewan mitchell is given 3 lines, "whip wielding man", indeed. alison oliver is funny af but shes starring in a whole other movie. hong chau stays being wasted in sh1tty movies. if hollywood wasnt so racist, she would be a huge star by now. 

the movie looks good but the costumes are obviously not historically accurate. they literally put margot in 80s barbie doll recreations(again? again! she is legit dressed like the holiday/christmas barbies). cathys style leans VERY 1980s & the linton house screams vintage coke dealer. just watch this with the sound off & you will enjoy it much more.

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 source: margot-robbie-british-vogue-interview

"Robbie recalls that Elordi was already cast by the time the screenplay landed on her desk. At that point, Robbie had never read the book "

yes, we can see.....

" “I just felt like… Not like she’s mine, but like I both understood her and didn’t, in a way that drew me to her. It’s this puzzle you have to work out.” She would have produced the film anyway, but decided to throw her hat in the ring to play Cathy too – though she didn’t “want Emerald to feel like she had to say yes”."

you would think since margots the producer that she would postpone the filming until AFTER she had the baby.i assumed they didnt because she didnt have a choice but indeed, THAT was the choice she made. bizarre

"Margot comes with big d–k energy. That’s what Cathy needs."

and none of that was shown in the actual movie. just normal selfish/annoying white woman ish. as per usual

" “I saw him play Heathcliff,” she says finally. “And he is Heathcliff. I’d say, just wait. Trust me, you’ll be happy. It’s a character that has this lineage of other great actors who’ve played him, from Laurence Olivier to Richard Burton and Ralph Fiennes to Tom Hardy. To be a part of that is special. He’s incredible and I believe in him so much. I honestly think he’s our generation’s Daniel Day-Lewis.”"

i get that margot is trying to secure her bag but there is no reason to lie like this(like we dont have eyes). as good as burton? as good as ralph? as good as ddl??? as good as olivier?????????????

i love me some margot but she needs to stop lying. THIS AINT IT!

"This is a big epic romance."

it is not

Pillion movie review

 i haven't watched Pillion yet but I am 300% sure colin should have been played by ewan mitchell. harry melling is so aggressively unattractive that idk if im going to be able to enjoy the sex scenes. 

30 minutes later melling is wearing an assless ensemble and I get even sadder of what could have been .

i love the fact that Alexander Skarsgård could do all of this irl so easily (if he wanted). who would say no to being askars sex slave? it doesn't make sense how askars could even be so fine.

this movie is so cringe. melling isn't doing a bad job but there is such a ewan shaped hole here(yes im obsessed , and yes i am right).

"how did you get a man like that?". indeed 

that "buffet" in the middle of the woods is making me feel some sort of way.i love the fact that during the buffet scene i was wondering how they reinforced the tables to hold multiple men(also if that was a stunt dick).i would think askars would choose to wear a gigantic prosthetic (for the lulz) but I guess not?

i love how every character just goes on and on about how attractive askars is.

i thought the ending was going to piss me off but it was cute

The Fall Of The Roman Empire 1964 review

 ive seen Fall Of The Roman Empire at least 20 times as a child & i couldnt tell you what the plot was if my life depended on it.i do remember everybody in the same family having random accents (like borgia).

it makes me sad that movies like this will never be made again & all we have to look forward to is ai slop.

sophia loren looks beautiful despite the horrible makeup. did a drunk person draw on her eyebrows? why does the makeup department hate her? plus most of her costumes are garbage .

christopher plummer is a sexy mfer. i forgot about the scene where he whips stephen boyd in the face. feel free to play that on a loop at my funeral. he is such a bad bitch in this. 

i didn't catch this the 50/11 times ive seen it but christopher plummer says "our mother" to sophia . our mother but they don't look anything alike and have 2 different accents. i assumed sophia was raised in a different country and brought back as a young woman but I guess not . they really should have changed the script or the casting because this isn't making any sense. 

after the intermission her makeup looks a billion times better . i love that im still barely paying attention and halfway finished STILL could not tell you what the plot is .

cop rock 1990 tv show review

 

i vaguely remember watching cop rock as a child & thinking this was the absolute worst so i have no idea why i am trying to watch it again. i love musicals but HATE modern musicals & cop shows. lets see if i can get through this sober.

im pleasantly surprised how good some of these singers are but this is VERY boring and I don't think I will be able to watch the whole season .

in the 1st episode ,a white junkie sells her baby for $200 & i turn it off .im sure the rest of the season will be her fake crying while trying to get the baby back and my head is hurting just thinking about it . 

the premise is interesting , the execution is atrocious. i can see why this is still talked about 

i took some time off,then i tried to watch it again.i have insomnia & i fell asleep during 3 episodes. its boring & lame & there isnt even cute costumes(or actors) to look at.

The Running Man 1987 vs 2025

 

1987

my mom was OBSESSED with arnold schwarzenegger so ive seen all of his movies & The Running Man was one of my favorites.i forgot how nice his body was .

i love how this is "in the future in 2017" but everything is so completely 1980s. like they didn't even try . i really don't think any actor can do better than richard dawson as killian.

unfortunately a lot of this story is going to go over heads(just like the original). just bread and circuses until it's time for you to run.

them saying amber deserved to die because she had sex with 3 men in a year is hilarious . i wonder what they are going to change that to in the remake? 3000 men, a dog, a transman, and a donkey ?

not the bad guys showing up in what looks like a tesla. the 1980s really was a spectacular decade for fashion and entertainment . im sure the cocaine was incredible.......

i don't even like action movies but this is great.i love how arnold shouldn't work as an actor yet he was the best 1980s movie star(i said what I said )

2025

it's very cute of them to put arnold on their money. hopefully he will have some lines. obviously the black wife is pandering but black women rarely get pandered to so i will allow it. glen powell is very good looking but him playing an angry bad ass is making me uncomfortable. he should stick to romcoms and comedies. too many people have lied and said he was the next tom cruise when that isn't even his lane. 

colman domingo is so smooth.

this movie is very boring and I am now playing on my phone .

i love how even glen was mad they covered up lee paces gorgeous face. it really makes no sense. this wasn't as good as the original but the ending did make me put my phone down 

The Forsytes 2026

 

i have seen every Forsyte tv show &  movie ever made. do i enjoy it? absolutely not. why do i keep watching them? i have no idea!

this really has been done to death & the story isnt interesting at all. there are so many great books that dont have a show or movie but they insist on remaking this every decade.

i feel like these beards are glued on. soames is kinda fine.i guess i will watch this for him.

its boring but the end is VERY spicy. i wonder why this "new" storyline was not put in the other movies/shows. 

Anne Rice's Talamasca: The Secret Order review

 

ive been watching Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches recently. its ok but im pissed that all these shows are coming out after anne died. we couldve had so much more, better shows had they done them while she could write them specifically to be television.

im not interested in the Talamasca at all but i have an hour to waste so lets go.

im loving elizabeth mcgovern in her crone era but her accent is all over the place.they should have just hired an english actress. 10 minutes in & im already bored. these actors are giving absolutely nothing. i dont want to see eric bogosian in interview with the vampire & i ABSOLUTELY dont want to see him in this, either.

20 minutes in & ive turned it off to watch something else.

jason schwartzman playing a mincing gay vampire is a choice.

i spent the last 20 minutes of this episode eating peanut butter. this is boring & not very original. i doubt that i will watch the other episodes.

Dracula: A Love Tale review

everybody involved with this should be ashamed . luc besson basically just remade coppolas dracula(music and all ) and for what ? they even stole the name elizabeta(not his real wifes name ). im confused why you would remake a classic with less talented and less attractive actors .

it's damn near a shot by shot remake. who asked for this ? my head is now hurting. the white lead actress has big fake lips because of course she does. plus the other actress with the modern american valley girl accent in 1880s europe.

dracula is walking around in the daytime but the other vampire fried when they put her in the sunlight :-/. this movie is very french(thats not a compliment ). it's ridiculous but not smart enough to be camp.

now the vampire that fried when they put her in the sunlight can stand in the sunlight  :-/. 

The Paper 2025 tv show review

Domhnall Gleeson is the most irish looking irish guy, with a bad american accent, is pissing me off. the fact that they brought back oscar who did absolutely nothing in the office & not stanley who begged to come back is making me feel some sort of way(i guess they figured 3 black actors were way too much).i had no interest in watching "The Paper" but im slightly sick & need to waste some time while my cakes cool down(is that a metaphor? who knows).

the american office was not a great show & it was only better than the original uk version because of Steve Carell & Rainn Wilson (argue with ya mama). i dont have high hopes for this though i do love Sabrina Impacciatore & she really is the only reason why i am still watching. im laughing once per episode.

the catfish episode pissed me off but the ending was spectacular. they need to stop fucking with my girl esmeralda.

they already decided to give it a second season before the 1st was even on tv but its really not worth watching

Americathon 1998 1979

 

i love wacky futuristic movies like this from the 1970s.i ended up falling asleep from not being sober the 1st time i watched last night but this is a REALLY good movie even though this wont be a good review(i went back to the dr today & still drugged up from that but i had to share this lol).

americathon starts off with everybody living in cars, not driving them because gas/housing is too expensive (sounds like real life in 4 months). the president is a moron( sound familiar?) and everybody is broke. one scene talks of a new reality show were males with small penii are made fun of. or the other tv show where the child & dad crossdress together. its sad that what they thought was unbelievable is our actual reality. 

the tuxedo tracksuit is taking me out. Zane Buzby is the baddest of bitches & shouldve gotten an oscar for this.

they sold san diego to the mexicans. no comment on that.