The Paper 2025 tv show review

Domhnall Gleeson is the most irish looking irish guy, with a bad american accent, is pissing me off. the fact that they brought back oscar who did absolutely nothing in the office & not stanley who begged to come back is making me feel some sort of way(i guess they figured 3 black actors were way too much).i had no interest in watching "The Paper" but im slightly sick & need to waste some time while my cakes cool down(is that a metaphor? who knows).

the american office was not a great show & it was only better than the original uk version because of Steve Carell & Rainn Wilson (argue with ya mama). i dont have high hopes for this though i do love Sabrina Impacciatore & she really is the only reason why i am still watching. im laughing once per episode.

the catfish episode pissed me off but the ending was spectacular. they need to stop fucking with my girl esmeralda.

they already decided to give it a second season before the 1st was even on tv but its really not worth watching

Americathon 1998 1979

 

i love wacky futuristic movies like this from the 1970s.i ended up falling asleep from not being sober the 1st time i watched last night but this is a REALLY good movie even though this wont be a good review(i went back to the dr today & still drugged up from that but i had to share this lol).

americathon starts off with everybody living in cars, not driving them because gas/housing is too expensive (sounds like real life in 4 months). the president is a moron( sound familiar?) and everybody is broke. one scene talks of a new reality show were males with small penii are made fun of. or the other tv show where the child & dad crossdress together. its sad that what they thought was unbelievable is our actual reality. 

the tuxedo tracksuit is taking me out. Zane Buzby is the baddest of bitches & shouldve gotten an oscar for this.

they sold san diego to the mexicans. no comment on that. 

twilight saga films review 2008 2009 2010 2012

 twilight 2008

ive been putting this off for a while now.i hate kristen stewart but i love robert pattinson. the only way i can watch this is not sober so thats what i am. jacobs wiglet makes me stabby. all the "teen" vampires look 35. i wasnt expecting the dialog to be good but this is so cringe. its like they cast the oldest, ugliest, non acting-est white "actors" they could find. all the vampires in the geisha makeup is making me feel some sort of way.

this fan scene is a mess. i can see why rpattz refuses to talk about these movies. im confused why everybody is dressed like its 1995? none of this is cute & the wigs are so cheap. i knew it was going to be stupid but this is insane! did people actually take this seriously when it came out? everything is so aggressively mediocre(im sure thats why it was so popular with whites).

it irks me when vampires can be out in the sunlight.

i love the fact that i had no idea they made this many twilight movies. its just not believable that a vampire(,wolf, any kind of monster, etc) would hide out in a small town or choose to pretend to be a high school student. an adult would have more freedom & less people would notice they werent growing up. not all the vampires wanting to eat bella out. this movie is gross on so many different levels. it ended like they just ran out of film.

Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

the vampire geisha makeup is a little better but still tragic. jacob still walking around with a $20 synthetic wiglet plopped on his head. its pissing me off that the vampires are corny/creepy but not sexy. 

i get that this is for tweens/teens but its so aggressively stupid. kstew cant act. like at all. so edward loves bella so much he leaves her alone in the woods in a town she just moved to? cool cool.

i just frowned the entire movie

Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

 i just dont understand how these movies were popular. kstew still cant act. 

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

if my life depended on it,i could not tell you what the plots of these movies are. its like they are so boring i forget what i saw as soon as its over.

im getting pretty tired of the "i only kill evil men" trope.

did this fool make a sex joke at the wedding or??????? so anna kendricks character is a hater but bella stays inviting her? i cant stand a passive aggressive betch. everybody should be thankful im not in charge cause none of those heaux wouldve gotten an invite.

all this focus on bellas vagina is making me queasy. so he banged her so hard he broke all the furniture in the room(but not her vagina?)????????

k

cool cool

taylor lautner is fine af.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

now had i known my future gay husband lee pace was in this i wouldve watched it years ago.

kstew is just so aggressively bland. i am crying,this is so stupid. now i have to name my child nessie.

i cant pretend to care about any of this.i was already pissed when i started to watch this & the end is absolutely about to piss me off.

michael sheens wiglet is about to fly off but im loving how much cvnt he has been serving. its like he's in a whole different(better) movie. jamie campbell bower shouldve been the next big thing. im confused why the ending credits has to be an hour long. most of these actors were seen longer in the credits than the actual movie

Eden 2025 ron howard movie review

 ive been waiting a while for this to come out. its a very weird true story but i dont believe that ron howard will tell it. it shows exactly how destructive & evil whites can be when they think they wont get caught but i dont think he will go there. im sure he will blame it on the women instead of getting to what the real problem was and is.

ok,lets go!

sydney sweeney is so unfortunate looking & her not wearing makeup isnt really helping. im going to assume shes trying to do a german accent? idk. they shouldve just cast a german woman cause this aint it. also if all 5 are german why is only sydney the one with the struggle "german" accent?

i really cant imagine how shitty it would be if you moved to an empty island then 50/11 random whites started showing up.

i feel like i should be happier seeing jude law go full frontal but this movie is pissing me off. plus where tf did jude get such a nice ass from? when did this happen???? i cant even enjoy jude being double cheeked up because this movie is so bad. i refuse to google what accent ana de armas is trying to do. i will just assume because she is a fake aristocrat that it is a fake accent cause......

the "beautiful" "baroness"

& of course, now the part where he blames all of this on women start. i get that most of this is just fiction to create drama but how big of an idiot do you have to be to steal when you know there are only 2 other people(that they know would not steal from them)? i HATE historical fiction so this is my fault for watching this. i hoped that ron howard would tell the actual story not just the normal "women are bad and men are the best" propaganda.

this fool is using a filthy spoon to dig out her placenta. it is never that serious. at that point, just let me die because i am too big of an idiot to live anymore.

the problem with this is that whites arent going to see it as a cautionary tale. they will watch this stupid movie then try to recreate it in a 3rd world country.

not the baroness saying the only cure she needs is some good dick(i feel her but still.....). its a 2 hour movie & its taken me over 4 hours to watch it(& its still not at the end).

finally finished it 7 hours later. was it worth it? of course not. vanessa kirby & ana was wasted.

Peterloo 2018

 

i find it fascinating how someone like me who is obsessed with english history just found out about the Peterloo massacre a couple of months ago(& had i not been obsessed with Rory Kinnear, would have never heard of it at all probably). the sets & costumes are pretty accurate. everybody is poor & looks like they smell.

all of these problems are sounding suspiciously modern. i can see why this is never talked about.

maxine peake is so slept on.ive never seen her give a bad performance.

seeing all the plebs in their best clothes so calm & full of hope before they were killed makes me feel some sort of way.

i really should not have watched this movie. if it did happen like this, everybody involved(the soldiers & the rich) should have been ashamed.

The Phoenician Scheme review

 

as usual, i have no idea what this movie, The Phoenician Scheme, is about.wes anderson hasnt made a good movie since Moonrise Kingdom so my hopes are not high for this. tptb keep trying to make Mia Threapleton a thing & i really wish they would stop. Kate Winslet was never a beauty & her daughter Mia has even less appeal. 

the only reason to watch this is bryan cranston & tom hanks. i fear their scenes are only 5 minutes total,though. why show them when we can have boring scenes & close ups of mias blank, bland cinderblock noggin?

the movie was just a whole lot of nothing. in 80 years it might be entertaining but for now,it is not. 

Queen of the Ring 2025

 i grew up watching wrestling. why my grandma loved it, i have no idea, but i was there with her watching all the matches. once i grew up, i was even asked to join a revival of the real glow show(i am not athletic & we'd REALLY be fighting if someone hit me in the face so i politely declined).

i know a little of the history but i know Queen of the Ring isnt going to tell the truth(about how Mildred Burke was abused then allegedly ended up doing the same to the younger female wrestlers who came after her). for that reason alone i didnt want to watch it but josh lucas is still such a hottie so.........

its pissing me off this is set in the 1940s but shes walking around in a 2024 padded underwire bra & a tank top.i know joshs salary isnt that big that they couldnt have gone on ebay to buy a 1940s bra. i just wish it wasnt so low budget,the ladies deserve a lot more than this.

so billy wolfe cheated on her,hit her,stole money from her, & she asked him to marry her? then she tries to pretend she is a mastermind & in charge? sounds just like a white woman.

francesca eastwood is so pretty & they give her absolutely nothing to do. hopefully she can get her personal life together & get better acting roles after this. these 1990s rainbow/forever 21 spandex outfits are making me stabby. not even walton goggins can get rid of my frown.

ok,now this is pissing me off. there is a very dramatic & badly acted scene where gladys gillem dies in the 1950s. beyonces internet tells me the real gladys died in 2009 so what is this shit? what was the point? i assume the love affair between mildred & billys son is also fake but this is all so unnecessary. 

A Cruel Love The Ruth Ellis Story review

 

when i was about 7, someone gave me a very graphic book about various historical crimes & ruth ellis was one of the stories in it. it absolutely wasnt an appropriate book to give to a child. basically they said she killed david blakely because she was a stupid slut with a gun. they didnt explain how her dad raped her & her sister or how her husband used to beat her or how david punched her in the stomach & how that lead to her losing their baby 2 weeks before she killed david blakely.

i was reading an article about this new show A Cruel Love : The Ruth Ellis Story &, of course, all the comments are from men glad she was hanged & basically calling her a stupid slut with a gun(it did include her miscarriage but in their minds she deserved that). 70 years later & men are still just as cruel. all the men in her life let her down over & over & to actually see it is triggering. her life meant nothing to them so his meant nothing to her.

i didnt want to watch it because i know what she went through way too well. the acting is good & the wardrobe is cute. i guess the worst part for me is how her son andre saw desmond cussen give her the gun, teach her how to shoot it, & once he was grown he ended up hating her just as much as the rest. andre ended up desecrating her grave before killing himself. he couldve taken that anger to help other women in her situation but instead acted like a typical male...........

Game of Thrones - Season 1 review

 so ive never seen game of thrones & i want to watch house of the dragon but i feel like i need to see thrones first so here we go.

not even 20 minutes in & so many sh!tty weaves. im so tired of hollywood refusing to hire black hairstylists(,makeup artists,actresses, directors, writers,etc). these $10 wigs are making me feel some sort of way.

not even through with the 1st episode & all this "sensuality" is grossing me out.i know it gets worse but geez. it tries so hard to be shocking but its only very,very gross. its obvious the only writers were white males.

not baby arya beating everybodys azz. she is already my favorite,everybody else is lame af.

ep6: this show is very stupid

a lot of these actors cant act.i keep falling asleep (which is rare)but i feel like it doesnt even matter. like im not missing anything. im confused why this was so popular.

eta after watching season 3: im guessing there are 50/11 characters so they can just get killed throughout the season. the stark mom getting killed really bummed me out,i liked her. the acting/writing is still very bad but at least they are buying $50 wigs instead of $10 ones

eta after finishing the entire show: i can see why people were pissed at the end. it was like it was written by somebody who had never seen the show. im actually really surprised nobody was smart enough to make thrones style clothes a trend. margaery tyrell & the khaleesi STAYED in a nice outfit. 

the acting & wigs improved a little but it was boring & not really worth watching.

Interview with the Vampire 2022

 you already know how i feel about unsexy, unattractive vampires.......

so i wasnt going to watch Interview with the Vampire because the original is so good & i doubt they will be able to top it.

for this, i think they shouldve gotten rid of the framing device & just called it lestat. we dont need more unattractive actors in this & nobody cares about the reporter. let's just get right to the gay vampire stuff.

why would the vampire send cassette tapes? do they even still make cassette tapes? you cant buy them in a normal store so unless he bought 800 in 1987 then i dont understand whats going on. also, why would louis need a reporter in 2022 when he could just set up a blog & do it himself? not even 5 minutes in & there are too many plot holes.

this is dumb.theres no way lestat would be walking around in antique clothing in 1910.the only time he wasnt "dressed to kill" was when he was sick.i get they are trying to put some goth flavor into it but if youre going to insist on setting it in 1910 then the costumes need to be accurate.

of course,they made the black louis a literal pimp because god forbid there isnt 1 second of non stereotypical cliches while a black actor is on screen. its funny because im sure the white males writing the script really thought they did something. none of this sounds like anything anne rice wouldve actually wrote....

consent is great & more men need to learn about/practice getting consent but this @nal scene is ridiculous & unnecessary. it took me 4 days to watch the 1st 8 minutes now im regretting all my life choices.

everybody in his family has a different(bad) accent & nobody looks alike........

lestat isnt sexy & all these dudes are ugly. 

louis already said he didnt speak french but obviously understood what lestat said in french. is he reading lestats mind or did the writer not read the script? lestats accent is all over the place. he literally makes time stop & louis acts like this is normal.

of course they HAD to shoe horn in a tap dancing scene. im surprised they didnt cool down afterwards with watermelon.

dark shadows 1966 vs 1991 vs 2004 vs 2012

1966  i tried to watch dark shadows years ago but it was so boring & the sets were so cheap that i couldnt,i turned off the 1st episode after a couple of minutes. due to dummies not washing their hands, i had plenty of time to try again last year. its pretty slow & they repeat scenes over & over for those who missed episodes but its(unintentionally) funny. i find the child actors to be annoying but the worst is the little girl playing sarah collins with the THICK baltimore accent. where tf did they find her? did they even film in baltimore? the whole thing is live & she RARELY knew her lines yet they stayed paying her!

as ive already said, a good vampire needs to be sexy or scary & johnathan frid was neither. the acting is bad & the sets look like they would fall over if you leaned on them. sometimes the crew guys are running in the background or you can see the microphones bobbing over heads. dark shadows was basically twilight for 1960s housewives. i spend most of the episodes playing on my phone but i can see how this blew peoples minds back in the day & why they keep remaking it.

the original was never that good but they really jumped the shark with adam/frankenstein.

1991 more money for wardrobe/sets & the acting is A LITTLE better but not worth watching. they made a complicated plot even more complicated for no reason. ben cross was incredibly unattractive & not scary as barnabas. jean simmons was a glorified extra & joanna going was pretty but useless.

2004/2012 the 2004 pilot was boring & not worth talking about at all.i completely forgot that i even saw it a couple of months ago. i HATED the 2012 film when i first saw it. tim burton hasnt made a good movie since edward scissorhands.  

yikes! was it really necessary for the little boy to imply he watches his cousin masturbate? not even 20 minutes in & im frowning. eva green is so underrated. it irks me greatly when shows/movies have vampires walking around in sunlight(a myth that was started in nosferatu?). these sex scenes are KILLING me!

the movie was cute but the ending sucked.i probably wont watch it again though it was much better than i remembered

A Very English Scandal

 so i see the 2nd installment "A Very British Scandal" has come out. i am sick & my doctor said i cannot go out tonight so i will be reviewing this show (YOU ARE WELCOME!, lol). i was so excited to see the first "A Very English Scandal" until i found out ben whishaw was in it. he is so incredibly unattractive to me, its hard to look at his face. i get irl both of these dudes were fug but if you are going to risk it all (in a tv show/movie), the younger guy had better be a hottie (another reason why i love "wilde").

not hugh grant showing up to his bedroom with lube to wear that bussy out & ben crying. i cannot! i hope that didnt happen in reality. i guess this is supposed to be romantic but norman josiffe/ben was homeless & just got out of a psychiatric hospital. taking advantage of the mentally ill isnt sweet or sexy. i dont like this tone.....

not jeremy thorpe/hugh cheating on him with actual non ugly guys. the bloom wore off the bussy & now hugh has moved on. "you have infected me with the virus of homosexuality!" jesus. i dont know if i can watch 3 hours of this. typical man that he would go through all that drama instead of just doing what he promised aka getting norman a national insurance card.

{not even through with the 1st episode & i take a 4 hour break}

i would rather watch a 3 hour show about boofy gore & his badgers.

{i finish the 1st hour then go to sleep}

ive watched A LOT of these vintage english scandal shows & these "scandals" arent very interesting (even when looked through older values/morals). ohhh she had sex with a lot of men, ohhh he was gay, ohhh she had sex with black guys! who gaf? although hugh grant is looking like a weathered snack, i am regretting ever starting to watch this. 

i really dont appreciate gay men(who know they are gay & are in the closet) who insist on getting married & having children with women. if the stuff in this show is true then these men really deserved whatever negativity that came from that. both of these men ruined so many womens lives. its insane.

i didnt think it was going to take me more than a night to finish this :-(

{after trying to watch it the entire day,i finally finish the 2nd hour then go to sleep}

all the interesting stuff  FINALLY starts happening in the 3rd hour. i cant recommend this, it needs to be edited down & the tone needs to be more serious. being queer shouldnt still be a punchline at this point

the handmaid's tale

 "the handmaid's tale" is just white women cosplaying what my ancestors went through. that's the post

bromans part deux

 

so i never actually finished watching bromans. there was a part that was so cringeworthy that i couldnt(the same thing thats been happening with borat 2.ive been trying to watch that since it came out). 

since plebs wont be on anytime soon, i already finished rome , & i, claudius was too boring, i guess i will be forced to watch the rest of this. i die a little inside anytime they say "massive unit". doctore is "well fit" as they say. too bad he's a misogynist. the polyester weaves are making me sad again. all the womens hair looks so dry & matted. did they not allow them to bring conditioner? 

everybody is angry at medina because she refuses to lie & say its ok her boyfriend lost due to his stupidity. this is making me want to turn it off. fragile masculinity strikes again & of course, its all her fault he is a moron.

i'm mad the 33 year old woman looks younger than "teenage" summer. why am i so attracted to tom? lusting after him makes me feel like a lesbian. the fake lipped slag says dinos azz is big & hairy. i dont know what to do with this information. without photographic proof, how will i know if she is lying?

i dont like that they are bringing in new couples every episode when sophii(??wtf??) from the 1st episode was so great (& banished). just bring back sophii & let her talk shit for the next 6 episodes. pretty glenn talking to that other dude about his big d!ck is making me feel some sort of way. again, i'm going to need some proof here.

its nice to see the girls hanging out & bonding before they have to compete with each other though i dont like the fake friendliness. not to be a reality show cliche but they really arent there to make friends so no need to hug & cry like that. i like ellie, shes so spicy.

its incredible they waited until the season was almost over before getting a couple that wasnt completely boring. FINALLY tom spreads those phat cheeks in the shower. now i can die? whoever wrote the outline/script is a moron. who gaf about the challenges & fights? just have the bromans shower with each other for the entire show. no need to get fancy with all the rest of that nonsense.

the neanderthal genes really popped out when they decided it would be fun to splash each other with urine. i cannot with them plucking hairs with tweezers out of that boys anus then rubbing his crack with butter. all the interesting parts are 2 minutes long but the editors let the boring stuff go on forever. its weird. its like they dont want people to watch(or have a 2nd season). its no fun seeing non professionals fail at sport competitions. its like when the real world decided to force everyone to get jobs instead of just hanging out at the house & causing drama. it was so boring i havent watched it since. all you need to do is get them in a room, get them some alcohol, & turn the camera on. all this other stuff is so unnecessary. 

i find it hilarious they basically banished homeboy because he had red hair & pale skin. i'd rather see the girls doing these competitions than the men, they are much more entertaining. its VERY rude they only gave them string bikinis to fight in & not actual shirts or underwired bra tops.i feel like the matches couldve been better if they werent so worried about losing their bikini tops. true roman female athletes wore breast binders, not flimsy spandex eye patches.

the kemp twins are ridiculously good looking & i can never tell them apart.i guess this is the one that was on  eastenders? too many stupid speeches & not enough of toms phat cheeks! i can see why this got cancelled......

pee wee's playhouse christmas special

i LOVED pee wee as a child & its incredible how many gay/kitsch elements he had in the show. was pee wee herman the reason why i turned into a female female impersonator? :-)

pee wee's playhouse christmas special stars grace jones, annette funicello, frankie avalon, oprah, zsa zsa gabor, cher, little richard, charro,whoopi goldberg, etc. watching all the shows again really reminds me of how slept on/underrated paul reubens is. the christmas special is SO funny & its a shame he only did one.

chickens

chickens is a british tv show about 3 men who stayed at home instead of going to fight world war 1. i usually dont watch shows over & over but decided to watch this one again because it was so cute & funny. jonny sweet is SO talented & its a shame he isnt doing more(he was completely wasted on that stupid show "loaded").

my newest guilty pleasure: a series of unfortunate events

even as a child, i HATED childrens books/movies/tv shows, so its rare if i watch anything for kids(i even skipped rupaul's "AJ and the Queen" because it starred a child). i ended up watching lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events because:

1 jim carrey
&
2 we are still in coronavirus lockdown.


there is this one joke where the baby babbles & jim says something like "i'm sorry,i dont speak monkey" or some such nonsense. for months now, i think of it & laugh like a crazy person.its a very funny & cute goth childrens movie.i highly recommend it plus the tv show "a series of unfortunate events" starring doogie howser. the tv show is pretty slow until they introduce esme squalor & carmelita spats. jim was a better count olaf but the kids in the tv show are a billion times better than the movie ones. plus tv klaus baudelaire is on "the great"(his sex scene had me shook until i googled he's an adult who only looks 12).

forgotten tv show pilots: coming to america

coming to america is one of my favorite movies of all time & i'm way too excited for the sequel.its crazy wesley snipes auditioned for this role(& lost) but is now in "coming 2 america". i've never been a fan of tommy davidson so i can already see why fans would not want to watch this. he isnt funny & his impressions are lame. tommy blamed the failure on a white director/writer, the network showing it at night on july 4th, plus the fact that eddie murphy refused to help. it's a typical stupid sitcom with horrible accents & unfunny impressions every 5 minutes.i can see why eddie decided to let it flop vs it being a hit & overshadowing the movie.

forgotten tv shows: bill and ted's excellent adventures 1992

the year before this was made they had an animated version of bill and ted's excellent adventures & when that was cancelled they decided to make a live action version. why? i have no idea. i remember watching the cartoon & HATING it as a child but i had no idea this tv show existed before a couple of months ago.

its a remake of a remake. i can already tell this is going to be cringe & i should be drunk before starting. obviously keanu reeves & alex winter cannot be replaced(& these fug actors are pretty annoying with their exaggerated impressions) but i did laugh a couple of times. instead of going back into history, the phone book goes into fictional places & comic books(which is dumb & i can see why the show failed). you cant improve the original bill & ted's, hence why all the sequels/shows were bad. this was ok, not a complete waste of time

brave new world

i read this book years ago & i dont remember the exact plot but i do remember how creepy he predicted our "sex positive" future. sex positive is in quotes because nsa promiscuity only benefits men but thats a conversation for another day.

i LOVE jessica brown findlay & was pissed when she left harlots to film this. 3 episodes in & i'm pretty sure this show is only 10% of the book "brave new world" & 90% the imagination of whatever white guy they picked to write the script. i cant stand it when they take a book & then only use the name not the actual plot(because most americans are too stupid to read the book then assume the tv show is "true").

pro: the 1990s/1970s style "futuristic" wardrobes
con: alden ehrenreich ?

i keep trying to get into alden but there is no there there. he's not attractive & ive seen no kind of personality in his work.its like they ran out of bland white guys & he was the last one in the room so he got cast. i slowly die inside every time bernard marx wears his "futuristic" 1970s style leisure suit. i really hope those "willie dynamite" does "gattaca" costumes werent an accident.

its fun to see demi moore go back to her white trash roots, though i wish they gave her a more realistic & less distracting wig.it looks like its about to slide off in every scene. the savagelands traditions part shouldve been longer. idgaf about homegirl from harlots protecting the land & pretending to be native american(its gross but i'm sure white people dont see how gross it is plus she's english so i doubt she understands how bad it makes her look).

ed stoppard is so gorgeous & sinister. its bizarre he isnt a huge star by now. i feel like this didnt need to be almost 9 hours since the most interesting characters were killed off pretty quickly.i would probably watch a 2nd season despite saying that.