Monday, September 18, 2023

Jeanne du Barry review


ive seen damn near every english language movie/tv show about the french kings & i still mix up the mistresses/kings so this might be confusing(for me and you,lol).the problem is too many are named louis but that is a rant for another time. i cannot stand johnny depp but i have a huge versailles shaped hole in my heart so...

im going to assume the narrator is johnny & its really irking me.a film about a woman should have HER as the narrator, not some man (especially not one who did not even love her). 6 minutes in & this movie has already given me a headache.

johnnys french isnt that great but it isnt as bad as i thought it would be. none of the casting makes sense. johnny depp looks even more like a corpse in that makeup plus he isnt french nor does he look anything like the king.if i can hear his american accent when speaking french, then i know actual french people can hear it. & i get you dont have to be the most beautiful woman to be the kings mistress but maiwenn literally looks like a chimp(no offense cause i know the french have different taste than we do).its a movie so i have to suspend disbelief but come onnnnnnnn.

her future husbands family getting excited when shes about to go fvck the king makes me feel some type of way.the majority of wedding dresses before queen victoria were not white so its annoying when they do it in movies. maiwenns irl son plays the dauphin & he looks just as inbred as she does. this movie is boring but i am enjoying the sets & costumes. its a movie about jeanne but jeanne is a mystery. 

i like how she enters the room & somebody whispers "what a slut". the king gives her a slave child named zamor.she is basically treating this boy like a puppy & i want to vomit. irl he snitched on her in the french revolution & got her executed. good for him! its weird how in the scene with the princesses they try to set them up as racist but it was jeanne who owned him so how clean could her hands have been? they may have talked about a slave while she owned one. you would think since maiwenn is the director she wouldve made her part better but most of this is just a self drag & she does nothing more than giggle or look cross eyed into the camera.

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