the party girl

for many years, my schedule was work all day, then go to at least 2 parties at night. you start to notice a pattern & there are the same 3 people at every Hollywood party(no matter what day/time).it got to be ridiculous & I stopped going(& stopped being invited). I haven't been out in a while, so I went out tonight. that was a mistake.

i'd been looking forward to this party until I realized that it was in a studio where i'd had a couple of humiliating auditions. the outfit that i'd planned looked like shite once I put it on & I went through about 6 changes before finally giving up. i ended up taking 60 pictures(if 2 of those pix are decent, i will post later but I don't have much hope).

I got there, found my friends, & got comfortable. it was a typical la party with everyone texting & no one interacting with strangers but you could tell something was off. i felt awkward & I felt ugly(although I got MANY compliments about my look/hair/outfit I still felt unattractive).they talked about the next party that night(that i'd not been invited to)& when I went to get another drink, they'd left. mind you,i heard the location so I could have walked there but it still bummed me out.i flirted with the blonde bartender(of course),finished my moonshine, then decided to walk home.i saw they were setting up gift bags but I kept going.

I had to stop myself from stopping at taco bell to eat my feelings but I did go into little caesars for some pepperoni(I AM only human).