Thursday, May 31, 2018

upgrade

i was at another premiere & i overheard some industry guys talking about blumhouse & how horrible their movies are(i wont go into details but they were savage). last night i got to experience my first blumhouse film called "upgrade".

i HATE action movies but i love betty gabriel(who is a gorgeous girl irl but is always "uglied" up by the hair/makeup people on set for some reason) & logan marshall green is a stone cold fox.i ended up sitting in front of logan but i knew if i turned around & saw those lips there was no way i'd want to watch the movie instead so i never saw him. :-(

it pains me to say this because i want to enjoy many years of logan marshall green nude scenes & closeups of that pout but homeboy cannot act & has no charisma.he mumbles & covers up that pretty face with a gross beard all the time. harrison gilbertson plays an elon musk ripoff(was he supposed to be creepy? with all the mumbling i didnt know what his characters name was so i had to google-fu, turns out its "eron"). benedict hardie had a small role & ended up stealing the entire movie.

its set in the future(?) but everybody is dressed like its 2010.weird choice to make.even the sets arent that futuristic so its bizarre.the tone was the most jarring.so many dumb jokes like they were aiming to 12 year old boys who never saw the terminator.it shouldve been much darker, angrier, less "funny".the screening started at 7pm & i was yawning throughout(i usually go to sleep at 1am). i cant recommend this movie even though hardie was great. issa mess but i'm sure it will be a blockbuster because idiocracy was a documentary

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