Tuesday, April 18, 2017

blind item: the nice guy and his baby mama

I  heard about this a while ago so i'm pretty sure the latest baby mama is ok. anyhoo this "nice guy" rapper loves to browse instagram for his next victims.he got one pregnant and told her to get an abortion,she declined. he called and said he'd be waiting at a hotel.she picked up the keys from the front desk,opened the door, and friends of the "nice guy" beat her to a pulp. she got an abortion soon after

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

blind item: the dumb jock

so this moronic athlete was everywhere a couple of years ago.his handlers advised him to settle down after some scandals so he knocked up a prostitute.hopefully she used a condom with her clients and that is actually his child. he hasn't stopped having sex with randoms and she will be "lucky" if he even marries her at this point. i don't care about any of this and that is not why I am posting.

my problem is she is pregnant and underweight on purpose. she is starving herself and taking all sorts of weight loss pills so she can continue to post nude pictures online and not completely lose his attention.i feel so bad for the baby and hopefully it will be born healthy despite what she is doing and having 2 idiots as parents

Thursday, March 9, 2017

style fashion week day 1: Malan Breton

i haven't "done" lafw in a billion years but i've been super stressed out and decided to take the week off.i was supposed to do new york fashion week but somehow forgot :-(

i have no idea why style fashion week insists on having their shows on top of a sidewalk water fountain.way too many people wading through wet and tonight had the added bonus of smelling like sewage.some company was handing out thai food in an unlit corner by the port o' potties. of course there was no place to sit and eat plus no light to see what you are eating.Dallas doesn't do those kind of lines so i kept walking .

lo and behold i see old school cutie mr kato kaelin. i'd still smash but unfortunately I was too sober to say hello. Malan Breton has such a sexy voice and I was excited even though the show was really late. the theme was 1930s gothic with amy winehouse beehives.my only complaint would be that the soundtrack was ambient noise instead of actual music.the clothes were incredible to say the least .of course this would be a perfect time to post pictures but since this blog doesn't pay my rent .... {kanye shrug }.

update: so malan's pr person emailed me some pix and I posted my favorite male look 

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Dallas is the most serious girl in the world

i have been so busy running around in circles to put my store together that I haven't written in years.i had a literary agent and a publisher but I never went through with it.there is no rush but seeing a few lessers getting on the nyt best sellers list has almost lit a fire under me.i don't want to waste my talent like zelda fitzgerald.

i saw Z: The Beginning of Everything a while ago and wasn't going to review it but since this may be the last post this month wgaf. christina ricci was too old and had no charisma. everybody had a different southern accent but the costumes were nice. tallulah bankhead and her sister looked too much alike and I never knew which was which and of course there were no non white people because they had not been invented yet. i liked David Hoflin a lot though he didn't do much and his nude scene was disappointing.the whole thing stops before anything interesting happens but I don't know if I will continue to watch it even if there is a 2nd season. the nancy mitford book was so much better and if christina is annoying now I can't even imagine how worse it will get once she has to act crazy .

lol. the whole point of this was to say this blog will be even more dead while I figure out what I want.

Friday, February 24, 2017

#BeJoiful event

so the joiful invitation emails promised massages, full body waxes ,makeup, manicures ,and hairstylists.i don't enjoy strange people touching me but i could use a manicure so I was slightly excited.the event is set in a no name studio stage in bfe. there are a LOT of secret service type bodyguards hanging out (wtf were they protecting ???!???).the decorations were nice but everything was too dark .

i go to look at the nail polish and it is in a dark corner.it looks old,separated like it hasn't been used in years.i can only imagine what the colors looked like. no one is actually giving manicures.the massages and makeovers are being done on models with 3 chairs surrounding so you can watch someone else being pampered. those were the only seats and they stayed empty.

no one had any idea what was going on(the employees and the invited).why would anyone show up to watch a random get a massage? i still have no idea what joiful is and have not looked in the giftbag yet. if it's anything interesting i'll post an update later.it's late and these joan crawford movies aren't going to watch themselves.

another thing that bothered me was how people working there kept asking me if I were a blogger and how their faces would light up when I said yes.my wristband said vip but there was no true vip area,just 4 chairs roped off where a model was getting his makeup done.pretty sure they covered a white man head to toe in matte black or dark brown makeup with gold accents like the most extreme blackface ever. :-(

i guess it would have been a good event if I were just there to get wasted with my friends. the only hot guy was an asian who worked there and would not give me the time of day so I left for cheeseburgers........

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

White Man's Burden

i've been wanting to see White Man's Burden since forever but with all the president camacho fuckery,i feel like this is the best time.so the plot is black people are the racist ruling class and white people are poor and live in the ghetto. the premise would make a great comedy but, of course, white people having to experience real reverse racism is made into a tragedy.i'm not too fond of harry belafonte but this might be interesting.

i am loving the 1990s "african millionaire" fashions and do i spy original aunt viv? ok i'm getting into this.i had to stop myself from yelling out "go in,sis!". i see john travolta is wearing his "i'm a normal guy" toupee. ok i damn near choked on my pizza when they showed the white lawn jockey statue.

travolta is the only one with a "generic negro" accent,that is an odd choice.the writer/director is asian so that explains a little of travoltas cooning. it's really distracting,like he's in a different movie than the other actors.i just want to turn it off and watch Danger 5 :-(.

ugh,this jive talking is really making me angry now.THIS is what happens when there are no black people in charge, even fake ones get reduced to stereotypes. i'm surprised there was no scene of him tap dancing while holding a watermelon (or is that later?).

yassss, an afro centric fashion show. finally!

 i like how the white "gang members" are wearing suits covered in duct tape and slightly disappointed nobody has a mullet.this whole film is full of wasted opportunities.dead at the fact all the dolls are black and travolta frowns when his kid wants one(i didn't know this movie would trigger my own memories  going to the store and finding no dolls who looked like me).the last 30 minutes were lame and it wasn't a good movie but I still recommend it anyway

Friday, February 17, 2017

billions review?

so I get an invitation to see the first 2 episodes of Billions this season.i have no idea what is is about but I rsvp and get a confirmation.the doors open at 6:30,starts at 7.i get there at 6:45 and there are 20 people in line.someone says "sorry we are all booked up" and the crowd turns around and goes home.

i really do hate badly planned events.of course I missed my other event wasting time hauling @ss to that "screening".plus i still have no idea what is is about

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

microaggression of the day: mickey ds edition

it is super early and running on little sleep,i am at mcdonalds. i stand in the back right holding my receipt while the register is upfront on the left. 5 mexicans under 5'2 walk in and huddle an inch behind me.

the guy at the counter says next and one of the men puts his hand on my back and shoves me.i turn around, the guy is about 40 and 4'8 aka he should have known better.i show the receipt and they walk forward to the left. no sorry ,no excuse me.

he tried it on a good day. I was exhausted and just wanted to go home so I didn't knock him into next week like I should have.only 1 guy touched me and only 1 sexually harassed me so I guess it was a good day

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space

first impressions while watching Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space is that you cannot make a cult classic on purpose. although i find Shock Treatment to be a better movie than  The Rocky Horror Picture Show  , you can tell they were trying so hard.i have no problem with low budget kitsch either ,Vegas In Space being another favorite but this is not funny or campy though I did enjoy the dog.it takes more than saying uranus over and over to make a comedy.not even 10 minutes in and we get a black crackhead prostitute. really?

i am annoyed by the on purpose bad acting.the movie is less than 2 hours long but i've been trying to watch it for 3. this is going to take all night. and now we get the black homeless crackhead guy. great. are you sure you don't want him eating fried chicken while he says his lines? 6 hours in and 1 actual hour of the movie left .i just took my sleeping pills but this is going to be painful. still no sign of Janeane Garofalo,i guess she will be in the last 2 minutes .

so I was wrong ,she was in 3 minutes of the film.i laughed exactly once.it's not the worst movie i have ever seen but it is pretty close.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Mariah Carey - I Don't ft. YG music video review

so i've been a lamb since vision of love .nothing mariah carey can do to make me not be a stan,not one of my favorite movies, not that boring "reality show",not the fake romance with the gay guy, nothing. but this may be the straw that breaks the camels back.

my first thoughts when watching this is:
1 why does the director hate Mariah?
2 why does the wardrobe person hate Mariah?
3 why does the editor hate Mariah?
4 why does her manager hate Mariah?

mc is a legend,the voice is still amazing even though she does not take care of herself. mariah has never been sexy. ever. even when skinny her body wasn't that great(and that is fine). when you have talent you don't need a perfect body or to be half naked all the time.this is important so I will repeat it, when you have talent you don't need to be half naked all the time.

mariah is squirming like she has crabs and the lingerie looks like it cost 2 for $10.polyester does not become a legend most.mind you,i turned it off once yg started "rapping" but I doubt it gets better.

 mariah is having the same trouble as madonna,trying to appeal to teenagers instead of her loyal fans. teens don't buy concert tickets(,merchandise, or cds). she needs to take a few years off,get rid of the blood sucking vampires that surround her, get sober and then come back with some hits because this is embarrassing. mc has been in the game too long to be out here looking foolish