Wednesday, July 12, 2017

blind item: the family man

this saga started many years ago when the future wife kept cheating upwards until she got pregnant by the star. the star never wanted her or their children but she refused to get an abortion.he did the right thing and dulled his boredom with drugs and affairs with his leading ladies (yes that is the reason why that escort was in his movie and not her immense "talents").

anyhoo, he started cheating with that boring blonde and she assumed it would be her big break so she texted him some nudes. i always thought blondie leaked it herself due to thirst but turns out wifey was responsible for posting those pictures online.

fast forward (3 years after starting the affair with his new blonde cocaine loving twin),he is finally ready for a divorce.i feel so bad for his unwanted children but the wife will continue to play the martyr until she can trick another man to marry her

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

blind item: asians made this vegetable

i don't even know if I want to spill this tea but ok(pretty tired and will probably update later)


 i see a lot of sympathy from caucasians for the vegetable who took his white privilege too seriously.i'm not going to get too deep but I will say that despite appearances this is the outcome his parents have been waiting the problem child will soon be gone,no more worries about bail money and bribing officials. that wasn't his first trip or his first "mistake".someone said he was on a mission like 007 but I doubt it,he went to a good school because of $ not mental ability

 update 6/19:heard from a friend that the family went on vacation after they thought he was dead but I guess the media will spin it and the asshole will become an angel while the relieved parents will pretend to grieve.

Friday, June 2, 2017

i'm dying up here

i was feeling terrible after just leaving europe and I get an invite to see the first episodes of I'm Dying Up Here produced by jim carrey. i'm excited and need to laugh so I show up on time.

i love ari graynor but she is pretty much wasted here, none of her lines are funny. all of the male actors are unattractive with zero charisma.i get plastic surgery wasn't as common in the 70s but does EVERY actor need to be ugly? this isn't the bbc so i'm not understanding.

miss montana morehead plays the mom and she was looking so good i thought it was debbie harry until I saw the credits.the equally amazing robert forster plays the dad but unfortunately they are only in 1 episode with very little screen time.

of course the only black actress was a prostitute who stole a dead mans wallet because I guess that is all we can do. it's not like there was a real black 1970s comedienne like moms mabley that they could use as a character instead of the ugly unfunny men they hired instead.the more i thought about it ,the more heated i got.i don't even have to explain the uproar if the only white woman in a tv show was a hooker theif but i'm sure the majority will watch this and not even see the problem.

i can't recommend this.the only reason to watch is melissa leo and the vintage wardrobe and that is not enough.

Friday, May 26, 2017

blind item: the singer that was probably not a suicide

when this rockstar died my first thought was "he killed himself to get away from his shrew of a wife" and even though I did not know him my guess might be closer to the truth than you think.

he was married when they met but she made sure to get pregnant as soon as possible and get rid of his old friends.they went out of their way to make life hell for the ex wife and she suffered in silence for years while attending his concerts.neither were at the last one and people who should know said it was because they knew he would be dead soon.a sweet young thing had caught his eye and we all know how you caught him is how you will lose him.  friends of the wife got rid of her "problem" but it's going to get even messier now that she needs to find a new meal ticket

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

blind item: the nice guy and his baby mama

I  heard about this a while ago so i'm pretty sure the latest baby mama is ok. anyhoo this "nice guy" rapper loves to browse instagram for his next victims.he got one pregnant and told her to get an abortion,she declined. he called and said he'd be waiting at a hotel.she picked up the keys from the front desk,opened the door, and friends of the "nice guy" beat her to a pulp. she got an abortion soon after

update 5/3/2017: you'd think he would be smart enough to buy some condoms by now .............

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

blind item: the dumb jock

so this moronic athlete was everywhere a couple of years ago.his handlers advised him to settle down after some scandals so he knocked up a prostitute.hopefully she used a condom with her clients and that is actually his child. he hasn't stopped having sex with randoms and she will be "lucky" if he even marries her at this point. i don't care about any of this and that is not why I am posting.

my problem is she is pregnant and underweight on purpose. she is starving herself and taking all sorts of weight loss pills so she can continue to post nude pictures online and not completely lose his attention.i feel so bad for the baby and hopefully it will be born healthy despite what she is doing and having 2 idiots as parents

Thursday, March 9, 2017

style fashion week day 1: Malan Breton

i haven't "done" lafw in a billion years but i've been super stressed out and decided to take the week off.i was supposed to do new york fashion week but somehow forgot :-(

i have no idea why style fashion week insists on having their shows on top of a sidewalk water fountain.way too many people wading through wet and tonight had the added bonus of smelling like sewage.some company was handing out thai food in an unlit corner by the port o' potties. of course there was no place to sit and eat plus no light to see what you are eating.Dallas doesn't do those kind of lines so i kept walking .

lo and behold i see old school cutie mr kato kaelin. i'd still smash but unfortunately I was too sober to say hello. Malan Breton has such a sexy voice and I was excited even though the show was really late. the theme was 1930s gothic with amy winehouse only complaint would be that the soundtrack was ambient noise instead of actual music.the clothes were incredible to say the least .of course this would be a perfect time to post pictures but since this blog doesn't pay my rent .... {kanye shrug }.

update: so malan's pr person emailed me some pix and I posted my favorite male look 

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Dallas is the most serious girl in the world

i have been so busy running around in circles to put my store together that I haven't written in years.i had a literary agent and a publisher but I never went through with it.there is no rush but seeing a few lessers getting on the nyt best sellers list has almost lit a fire under me.i don't want to waste my talent like zelda fitzgerald.

i saw Z: The Beginning of Everything a while ago and wasn't going to review it but since this may be the last post this month wgaf. christina ricci was too old and had no charisma. everybody had a different southern accent but the costumes were nice. tallulah bankhead and her sister looked too much alike and I never knew which was which and of course there were no non white people because they had not been invented yet. i liked David Hoflin a lot though he didn't do much and his nude scene was disappointing.the whole thing stops before anything interesting happens but I don't know if I will continue to watch it even if there is a 2nd season. the nancy mitford book was so much better and if christina is annoying now I can't even imagine how worse it will get once she has to act crazy .

lol. the whole point of this was to say this blog will be even more dead while I figure out what I want.

Friday, February 24, 2017

#BeJoiful event

so the joiful invitation emails promised massages, full body waxes ,makeup, manicures ,and hairstylists.i don't enjoy strange people touching me but i could use a manicure so I was slightly excited.the event is set in a no name studio stage in bfe. there are a LOT of secret service type bodyguards hanging out (wtf were they protecting ???!???).the decorations were nice but everything was too dark .

i go to look at the nail polish and it is in a dark looks old,separated like it hasn't been used in years.i can only imagine what the colors looked like. no one is actually giving manicures.the massages and makeovers are being done on models with 3 chairs surrounding so you can watch someone else being pampered. those were the only seats and they stayed empty.

no one had any idea what was going on(the employees and the invited).why would anyone show up to watch a random get a massage? i still have no idea what joiful is and have not looked in the giftbag yet. if it's anything interesting i'll post an update's late and these joan crawford movies aren't going to watch themselves.

another thing that bothered me was how people working there kept asking me if I were a blogger and how their faces would light up when I said wristband said vip but there was no true vip area,just 4 chairs roped off where a model was getting his makeup done.pretty sure they covered a white man head to toe in matte black or dark brown makeup with gold accents like the most extreme blackface ever. :-(

i guess it would have been a good event if I were just there to get wasted with my friends. the only hot guy was an asian who worked there and would not give me the time of day so I left for cheeseburgers........

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

White Man's Burden

i've been wanting to see White Man's Burden since forever but with all the president camacho fuckery,i feel like this is the best the plot is black people are the racist ruling class and white people are poor and live in the ghetto. the premise would make a great comedy but, of course, white people having to experience real reverse racism is made into a tragedy.i'm not too fond of harry belafonte but this might be interesting.

i am loving the 1990s "african millionaire" fashions and do i spy original aunt viv? ok i'm getting into this.i had to stop myself from yelling out "go in,sis!". i see john travolta is wearing his "i'm a normal guy" toupee. ok i damn near choked on my pizza when they showed the white lawn jockey statue.

travolta is the only one with a "generic negro" accent,that is an odd choice.the writer/director is asian so that explains a little of travoltas cooning. it's really distracting,like he's in a different movie than the other actors.i just want to turn it off and watch Danger 5 :-(.

ugh,this jive talking is really making me angry now.THIS is what happens when there are no black people in charge, even fake ones get reduced to stereotypes. i'm surprised there was no scene of him tap dancing while holding a watermelon (or is that later?).

yassss, an afro centric fashion show. finally!

 i like how the white "gang members" are wearing suits covered in duct tape and slightly disappointed nobody has a mullet.this whole film is full of wasted opportunities.dead at the fact all the dolls are black and travolta frowns when his kid wants one(i didn't know this movie would trigger my own memories  going to the store and finding no dolls who looked like me).the last 30 minutes were lame and it wasn't a good movie but I still recommend it anyway